Changes: A KJ Story
by merkat106
Summary: An A/U story: Captain Janeway's life changes unexpectedly one evening. How does she cope? (dialogue quotes disappeared from story - will fix)
1. Chapter 1

Note: I'm just playing. A/U setting.

Changes: A KJ Story by M Hathaway ************

Nightwatch. Despite being scheduled for overnight Bridge duty every Tuesday and Thursday, Ensign Harry Kim still loved the opportunity. He was in command of the Bridge in the usually uneventful hours the alpha shift was resting. That means that he got to sit in the captain s chair and make decisions that pertained to course and speed which was often set before nightwatch.

Minor course corrections were given his discretion as long as Voyager continued to the Alpha Quadrant or other preset destination. Major corrections or localized emergencies necessitated an officer with a higher clearance code which meant informing Chakotay or Tuvok. Ship wide issues including major emergencies or hostile aliens necessitated alerting the captain thus starting alpha shift early.

It was made extremely clear that he was to be very judicious on when to wake the command team. Commander Chakotay was a little more understanding if Harry made an incorrect decision to wake him for a trivial matter; Captain Janeway wasn t so, although she usually reined in her irritation enough to educate Harry on the matter before disappearing into her ready room.

Harry was hoping for a quiet night. Quiet, so Voyager s command team had a chance to get a good night s rest since the day was long and stressful. A failed first contact had resulted in losing an opportunity to collect needed supplies including deuterium. Fortunately, the captain managed to keep the Balou from attacking. But they were a day or so off their original course. Not that it mattered much. A day or so added to what was still projected to be a decades long journey.

As far as Harry was concerned, the captain, Commander Chakotay and Tuvok were all in their quarters sleeping. The captain always did better when she slept despite her assurances that she could function without. Meditation usually centered the Vulcan tactical officer and Chakotay often visited with his spirit guide during these hours so Harry really hoped for nothing out of the ordinary.

Glancing up from his PADD, Harry surveyed the nightwatch crew. A motley crew comprised of junior officers and former Maquis often left to wild discussions on ship s events. Rumors were rampant, especially when the conn officer had nothing to do. A pretty blond woman sat at conn tonight. Ensign Laney, he thought, was a gifted officer. She had graduated in his class at the Academy although they never shared any classes.

The young man at tactical, a Bajoran, was a Maquis crewmember. Soft spoken, but very serious, he didn t seem to care that Tuvok assigned him to the Bridge during nightwatch. Harry wasn t sure if the crewman knew the level of trust being placed on him. Starfleet regulations would not have necessarily allowed Bridge access let alone access to the tactical station to those who hadn t graduated Starfleet Academy. But if Tuvok was okay with it, so was the captain.

A young Vulcan woman was at the engineering station. She was somewhat of a mystery to Harry. T Pana seemed to find him fascinating and had no issues bringing up logic just to frustrate Harry when he would try to bring up any illogical discourse to help pass the time. Lieutenant Torres seemed to find satisfaction in randomly changing the nightwatch engineering assignment especially when Harry developed a rapport with the engineer. T Pana seemed to be a personal favorite of the chief engineer.

The ops station was unmanned during Harry s nightwatch assignments so that he had something to do. Of course, this wasn t always the case during the first nightwatch assignments Harry was put in charge of. But, he always seemed to take over ops instead of staying at the command level when something happened. So, Tuvok decided it was illogical to assign anyone but Kim to ops during these nightwatch sessions.

So far, nothing was out of the ordinary. Harry noted the sensors were fairly quiet. Nothing to disturb anyone, although it made for a longer evening.

Sir, I m getting a sensor ghost off our port bow. The young Bajoran reported.

Ghost?

Sensors were reading normal background noise, then a blip of sorts.

On screen? Harry said not expecting to see anything. And sure enough, there was nothing but stars on the viewscreen.

Recalibrate sensors, crewman. Harry went to the tactical station to verify that the Bajoran was doing the calibration properly before going to his ops station.

Sensors were now clear, but not before a momentary disruption to the shield bubble was recorded. It was only recorded for a fraction of a second which would not even have shown up if it weren t for Seven s recent Borg modifications to the sensor grid. Since the sensor grid was now back to normal, there was no need to alert Chakotay or Tuvok. The sensor ghost had vanished and the shields were at full strength so all was well.

The remainder of the evening was uneventful with exception of the gossip Ensign Laney was bringing up. The latest junior officer matchup between a young crewmember in engineering and a junior science officer. Scandal since that science officer had previously dated another crewmember in stellar cartography.

T Pana added that this gossip was illogical. To which Harry replied, loosen up. 


	2. Chapter 2

When Kathryn Janeway finally awoke at 0500, she felt a bit off. She couldn t really describe it, but knew that something was different. Not that it was unusual to wake up in this condition as stress sometimes manifested itself physically, but she knew she would be bitchy today and perhaps coffee would help ebb her wrath.

As soon as Kathryn sat up in bed, her unsettledness became an overwhelming urge to vomit.

Oh god. She squealed as she found herself rushing to her lavatory trying desperately not to heave all over the deckplate.

As she emptied her stomach into the toilet, she tried to figure out why she was sick to her stomach. Was it something she ate the previous day or was there an alien cold spreading through her ship? Radiation or a temporal phenomenon? Whatever it was, she had to visit sickbay before going on duty and this nausea had to pass long enough for her to get dressed and leave her quarters. It was hard to know when it would end, but somehow it had to.

She couldn t be the captain in her present condition. Heck, she could not even be a Starfleet officer with her stomach heaving.

All she could do was continue until nothing was left and hopefully not collapse due to the drop in her blood sugar. She would have to eat somehow or the doctor would confine her to sickbay but the idea of food exasperated her nausea, even coffee was unappealing.

But Kathryn had to appear superhuman, she needed to not show weakness or her crew would lose faith in her.

As soon as the nausea began to ebb, Kathryn decided to put on her uniform so she could get her issue dealt with and get on with her duty shift.  
It was extremely difficult to transform herself into the captain. Her jacket and boots were both a tad uncomfortable. And her hair didn t seem to cooperate today and if she didn t pay attention, she would have forgotten her captain s pips on her desk.

How this would be anything but a bad day was a mystery to her.

It was now 0700 and coffee was still nauseating. Today she would have to isolate herself from her crew, or else.

But right now, she hoped the doctor would be able to calm her stomach so a visit to sickbay was in order.

Kathryn marched as quickly as she could to sickbay while trying to avoid any contact to her crew. She had to be poised.

As soon as she entered sickbay, Kathryn noticed that it wasn t empty. Two female crewmembers were sitting on biobeds while the doctor hustled between them. Glancing at the tricorder, the hologram seemed perplexed.  
What was curious to Kathryn was the expressions the two younger women had on their faces. They were similar to what Kathryn saw when looking the mirror. They were suffering from the same illness as she was, but what was it? She would soon find out.

As soon as the doctor noticed her entrance, he started scanning her with the tricorder before scaring her with his expression. Bad news, really bad news she surmised.

What is it, Doctor?

He motioned for her to follow him into his office where Kathryn knew he was going to update her.

I m not sure how to tell you this, Captain, but you, Crewman Celes and Lieutenant Parsons are all pregnant.

This was similar to a slap across her face. She was stunned. It was impossible. There was no way she was pregnant, none.

Pregnant? How? I haven t been with anyone since Mark.

The doctor reached over and gave her a hypospray which immediately eased her nausea.

It appears that you were recently impregnated

Kathryn s mind was spinning. The ramifications were enormous. As the captain, she had no time to raise a child nor was it prudent for her to undergo a pregnancy in a hostile quadrant. It was a dangerous proposition.

Terminate it, now!

Under normal circumstances, she would not consider abortion, but circumstances were hardly ideal. She would deal with the physiological trauma of depriving a life once her responsibility to get her crew home was done.

I m sorry, Captain, but that s impossible.

Why not? Her mind was screaming on how unacceptable all this was.

The pregnancy is being hyper accelerated. The hologram paused. It would be far too dangerous for you to end the pregnancy. Life threatening given the changes your body has had to endure already.

Kathryn s mind just could not comprehend what she was being told. Changes? What changes? And what did the hologram mean by saying hyper accelerated? It was all too much.

Hyper accelerated?

Scans suggest you will have the baby in under a week. He paused. And because of your age, the pregnancy will be extremely difficult for you. Normally humans have a gestation of nine months in which the body slowly adapts to a growing baby. In this case, the three of you will only have days to acclimate. And age will determine how well that will happen. He sat down. You re not a young woman and although I think you would handle a normal pregnancy, I just don t know how the accelerated pregnancy will affect you. I recommend relieving you of duty for the next couple of days.

Kathryn was so much in shock that she could not formulate an objection to his medical order. Her scientific mind told her that he was correct. She would not be able to handle what was happening to her body while captaining the ship. It was all too much.

But the hologram didn t say who impregnated her and her officers. Was it rape? It was all too much.

Doctor, who did this to us?

She forced herself to be captain again. Answers, as the commanding officer of Voyager, she needed to know why she and two members of her crew were expecting.

Not clear, Captain. The fetus has both human DNA and alien DNA that s not on file.

I will take a look at the overnight sensor scans to see if that sheds any light in how this happened. Kathryn slowly stood. Her equilibrium was off and fatigue had set in.

That s fine, Captain, as long as you go back to your quarters and get some rest first. And try to eat something.

You get no argument from me. What about your other patients?

Rest as well. She nodded. Take care of yourself, Captain. I will come by occasionally to check on your progress. And do call if something doesn t feel right.

How will I know that? I ve never been pregnant before, nothing feels right.

You will know. Kathryn proceeded to exit sickbay.

Now, under normal circumstances, she would have given the other pregnant crewmembers a pep-talk to encourage them. But she felt so vulnerable and wanted to hide away so that no crewmember would see her like this.

A baby was a huge responsibility of which didn t know how she was going to balance it with her command. She was beyond terrified. But there was little she could presently do to change it.

The first thing she would do once she arrived back in her quarters was shed her now uncomfortable uniform, then have a light meal, then a nap.

What she would look like after her nap was only a guess, but she was tired and if she could sleep through the pregnancy, the better. Get it over with. But then what. She would face that challenge at that time. 


	3. Chapter 3

Once Kathryn returned to her quarters, she glanced in the mirror and tried not to lose it. She hated that things were out of control. She didn t even have say over her own body. And why her? Why was she forced to do this?

She s witnessed some strange methods that aliens use to procreate, but this took the cake.

Who were these aliens? How did they manage to impregnate her without her knowing?

But first, she had to change into something that would accommodate what was happening to her. Something loose or stretchy around her waist. And no shoes. Her uniform boots already felt too small.

As she surveyed her body, she noticed that her feet were indeed swollen. And her waist had thickened up slightly. Not enough that she was showing, but enough to confirm pregnancy.

The loose off hours attire did sufficiently hide her condition, but she knew that was short lived.

If the hologram was right, which he often was, and her due date was within a week, she would be showing soon. And how would that affect her?

Her hand crept to her belly. A baby was growing inside her, her baby. This was just too much.

Now she had to eat something before a nap. She had to get some energy so she could find some answers.

Vegetable bullion.

She barely returned to her desk with her soup, when the buzzer sounded. She quickly adjusted herself before deciding to allow this unwanted visitor to enter.

Enter.

Chakotay. She had failed to notify the bridge of her absence. But she was the captain, her presence wasn t always required. She was permitted to run her ship from wherever she wanted to.

He seemed surprised at her not being in uniform at this hour since she usually was.

Commander, what is it?

I wanted to see if you re okay. He handed her a PADD. The doctor said you were in sickbay earlier this morning, but he didn t say why.

I m fine, Chakotay. I have decided to take a few days off. She sipped her soup.

You don t usually take time off like this, Kathryn. What s going on? He paused. You aren t sick, are you?

I told you, Commander, I m fine. The doctor suggested I take a few days off after our encounter with the Balou. Something about stress. And I agreed with him.

She wanted this conversation to end, so she could take her nap.

Even the captain is entitled to some time off, Chakotay. I m not super-human. And the last thing this ship needs is an exhausted captain. In a few days, I will be good as new.

She said realizing that she was misleading her first officer. A few days was a lie. But it was too difficult to tell him what was really going on. And she knew she had to tell him and her crew before too long. A baby wasn t something she could hide. Her baby.

Alright, Kathryn. He replied as he left her quarters.

She knew he wasn t buying it. A few days off was highly uncharacteristic of her. Normally, she would reject any medical orders that forced her to take time off even when she was exhausted. She had to give the appearance that stress didn t affect her so the crew wouldn t lose faith in her command.

Once she finished her soup, she grabbed a blanket and curled up on her reading chair as best she could and closed her eyes. Sleep came easily.

She awoke to the sound of her buzzer.

Grumbling under her breath, she readjusted herself under the blanket. Who had the nerve to bother her now? And what time was it?

She snuck her hand on her belly. It had enlarged ever so slightly that her trim figure was gone. The baby had grown.  
Enter.

This time it was the hologram.

Time to give you a checkup, Captain. He pulled out his tricorder

What time is it?

1600\. He paused. How long were you asleep, Captain?

Since 1100, I think. This pregnancy is wiping me out. She slowly stood finding that her center of gravity had changed. She unconsciously rested her hand on her belly. It had begun to swell.

The doctor began to scan her.

How do you feel?

Exhausted. She paused. Strange. I don t feel like myself. I am sore, my feet hurt, my back hurts. I m tired and starving. And I have a weird sensation of fullness in my abdomen.

Your symptoms are to be expected, Captain. As long as you take it easy and eat regularly, you should be okay.

Okay? Nothing s okay, Doctor. I m having a child in the delta quadrant when I should be getting this ship home. This is not okay. Who the hell decided that for me?

Kathryn s anger returned. Her life was out of control and she hated it. Captains don t allow this to happen to them. Not on active duty anyway. And certainly not by an unknown alien who snuck on board her ship and violated her privacy. What if this kills her?

She was accustomed to have some say in life and death decisions. But no, that was taken away from her.

And now a hypospray was being pressed against her neck.

What s that? She hissed.

Vitamins. He paused. Regardless of how you feel, Captain, it s my job to make sure your baby is born healthy.

She moaned.

I know you are angry. Perhaps you should talk to someone about it.

Who? No one on the ship could possibly understand what I am going through. No one. She paused. I have the greatest amount of responsibility on this ship then add a violation of enormous magnitude. There s no one who will understand.

Exhausted, she sat back in her reading chair.

I take it you haven t told anyone about it.

How do you suppose I tell them? Good morning, Commander, ship s systems are operating at peak efficiency but not her captain because she s pregnant? Kathryn paused. I can t do it.

I think Commander Chakotay will understand once you explain what happened. Let your crew help you. Besides, you won t be able to hide this much longer. The hologram paused. Please, Captain, don t shut us out. We won t judge you or think any less of you.

Oh, alright. But I m too tired to do it now.

Please do it soon, Captain.

Thank you, Doctor. He left.

Kathryn was done with the EMH. He scanned her and gave her a pep talk which she didn t completely appreciate. And now she could get back to her nap. For now, sleep was all that interested her. And her scientific knowledge told her that the growing baby was acting similar to a parasite in that it took all her nutrients leaving her nothing. Draining her completely.

But since she was forced to accept the pregnancy, she was forced to accept the fact that all she really could do was sleep.

But the hologram had a point. She needed to confide her condition to Chakotay and hope that he was understanding of her vulnerability. She couldn t be the all mighty Captain Janeway with a baby inside her. And that she had nothing to do with how it happened.

She was terrified.

So, she would invite Chakotay to dinner. Somehow she would muster the energy to do it. But first, sleep. So she did her best to curl back on the chair, pulled the blanket back on her and closed her eyes.

When she finally awoke, she was famished. And showing more than she was earlier.

And it was dinnertime. Was Chakotay still available for dinner?

Janeway to Chakotay.

Chakotay here

Are you up for dinner, Commander?

Silence. Was he thinking about it? Did he already have plans?

I need to talk to you in person, Chakotay. Was she pleading? It was embarrassing for such a proud woman to sound vulnerable over the comm, but her world was spinning out of control.

Kathryn? What s going on eh, I will there shortly. Chakotay out.

She wanted to scream. Never before did she lose her composure on the comm system and now she risked her loss of control episode spreading through the ship like wildfire. And that could damage her command. Never, never have an emotional breakdown on the comm, but her hormones were screwing with her mind. Damn hormones.

And now Chakotay was on his way.

And now she had to make sure her pregnancy wasn t obvious which meant wearing a loose sweater to conceal her belly.

She barely had enough time to do so before the buzzer sounded.

Come.

Chakotay smiled as he entered her quarters with a small bouquet of flowers.

You caught me on the holodeck. He paused. What is it, Kathryn?

He handed her the flowers which she subsequently found a vase to put them.

Thank you, Chakotay. How about we discuss it after dinner? Are you hungry?

Okay. Yeah, I could stand a bite. He paused as he sat at her dinette. Boothby says hi.

Your boxing simulation? He nodded.

You should try it sometime. It really helps lower stress.

Fisticuffs? Perhaps I will sometime. She paused as she removed a casserole from her replicator. But first, chicken papricosh.

Smells good, Kathryn.

She carefully lowered herself on the chair to not be obvious that her midsection had changed.

The meal largely went on normally and Chakotay updated her on the day s events. She was happy that she didn t miss much.

Now, she needed to disclose her condition now that both she and the baby were fed.

Chakotay, I need you to promise me that what I am about to confide in you, won t leave these walls and that you won t get upset with me. Promise. She pleaded.

What s going on, Kathryn?

I m pregnant.

What?

Please Chakotay, this is very difficult for me. She paused. That s why I went to sickbay earlier.

For how long?

Since last night. And before you ask, I don t know who the father is. She paused. For reasons not clear to me, I was one of three female crewmembers impregnated last night. And that our pregnancies are being hyper accelerated.

What does that mean?

It means I will have the baby in a few days, perhaps a week.

So that s why you spent the day in your quarters.

She nodded.

It s been difficult on my body. She paused. Don t think that I didn t request that the doctor terminate it due to our circumstances.

I take it, he said no.

Correct. Between the accelerated nature of the pregnancy and having no data on the alien s DNA, he couldn t predict what that would have done to me. So, the only option afforded to me was having the baby.

He was silent. Too silent. Was he digesting what she told him?

Please say something? She pleaded.

Kathryn, I don t know what to say.

Don t be angry. I didn t know how to tell you. She paused. My emotions have been all over the map. Hormones, I suppose. But believe me, I wasn t planning on this. But it s happening. And I need your support.

Kathryn, I m not sure. My people believe that having a baby is a blessing, a gift. But I know you, this is a burden for you.

Please don t say that. Yes, I wasn t planning on having a child at this point of my life. But it s happening. How can I reject this? Her hand drifted to her swollen abdomen. On an instinctive level, I suppose, I am joyful, delighted that I am having a child, my child. How can I not fall in love, Chakotay? It s changing me in ways I didn t predict or expect. But I am still captain of Voyager with those responsibilities still ever present. So I need your support.

You will get it.

There wasn t any enthusiasm in his voice. He had judged her which deeply disappointed Kathryn. It was tough enough to be undergoing a surprise pregnancy while being the captain, but not to have her first officer be understanding really hurt.

What was to come? She knew she only had a short time before the baby would come necessitating the need to prepare her quarters to accommodate a child. Her child.

And she had no idea how long her child would be a baby if the accelerated pregnancy was any indication of development. Too much.

And she needed to get the negativity out of the room so maybe she could change the subject without alienating Chakotay.

Tea, Commander?

That was the first thing that came to mind.

Sure.

She slowly rose to her feet, adjusted her sweater over her slightly swollen abdomen and went to her replicator. She was fully aware that Chakotay was staring at her.

After replicating the carafe of tea, she brought it back to the dinette and gingerly lowered herself back down.

Commander?

I m sorry, Kathryn. But it s weird to see you like that.

It s feels weird. She paused. The baby is developing so quickly that every time I glance downward, it seems like my belly is larger. She adjusted herself. I m becoming uncomfortable in my own skin, but what can I do?

Damn it, Kathryn. He paused and put down his tea. I promise I will help.

She smiled as she gripped her cup with both hands.

So, do you know what you re having?

No. It s all been happening so fast. But I don t think it matters. She yawned. This kid is already wearing me out. I will need all the help I can get once it s born. She closed her eyes briefly. Which I don t know when that will be. So I don t know when I will be back on duty. She paused. Baby is telling me to call it a night.

They both stood.

Well, good night. Call if you need anything. Chakotay said as he walked to the door.

She smiled as she simply nodded.

Kathryn was quite tired so she decided to get ready for bed.

As she changed out of her casual attire, she surveyed herself. It was still less than 24 hours since she was impregnated and her waistline wasn t the only part of her body that was different. Her chest, her feet, even her face although she was pretty sure only she could tell the changes so far.  
And as she slipped on her nightgown, she braced herself that the changes could be more pronounced in the morning.

Not having gone through a pregnancy before, she didn t know what stage of gestation she was equivalent to or how big she would get before giving birth. She didn t know how that was going to work and when it would happen.

But she was tired and sleep sounded wonderful so she crawled into her bed and quickly drifted off. 


	4. Chapter 4

When Kathryn awoke, the first thing that came to mind was her back. It hurt quite a bit.

Moaning, she slowly pushed herself a sitting position and looked down. Her belly had grown slightly overnight or so she believed.

And she was hungry again so that was what she would go do.

As she finally pushed herself to her feet, an unfamiliar sensation stopped her cold. Fluttering within her belly was unlike anything she had ever experienced and she was transfixed. The baby was moving within her and now she understood. Her hand drifted to the obvious swell of her belly and she smiled.

It had been a long time since Kathryn Janeway had felt this reflective. Impending motherhood was changing her and part of her wasn t afraid anymore.

Good morning, sweetie. She murmured as she made her way to her replicator.

Multigrain cereal, hot.

As usual, her replicator made it super-hot, so she left in on the replicator to cool a bit. She changed out of her nightgown into loose casual clothes that would still fit despite her current condition.

It was weird. Here she was, captain of an advanced starship, qualified engineer and scientist in awe of what was happening to her. Despite the strange circumstances of her pregnancy and the fact she had only been with child for a day, she fell in love with the baby and was determined to make it work.  
If anyone could balance command with motherhood, it was Kathryn Janeway.

She only wished that her mother was there to help. But no matter, Kathryn would tell her that her career oriented daughter was giving her a grandchild in the next data stream.

As she finally sat to enjoy her breakfast, the buzzer sounded.

Rolling her eyes, she figured it was the EMH coming to check on her progress.

Enter.

And she was correct.

Good morning, Captain.

The hologram took out his tricorder and began scanning her.

How are you feeling? Any complaints?

I m fine just the usual complaints stemming from an accelerated pregnancy. My back hurts and I m tired and hungry all the time.

That s to be expected. Your body has had to make some major adjustments in a short matter of time. Speaking of adjustments, any surprises this morning?

Like what? She paused. I feel movement if that s what you mean?

And?

And what? What am I supposed to say? That I have changed my mind about the baby? She took a bite. Okay, I have. I m human, how can I not fall in love with this? Call it a maternal instinct, but I have accepted that I am a mother now.

Well, that s good. The hologram paused. I am pleased to report that the baby is developing properly No genetic issues to report. The child is healthy. He stopped for a moment. Would you like to know what you re having?

Kathryn paused for a moment. Up until this point, it was the child, the baby. She got used to used gender neutral pronouns that she forgot that her child had one. Did she really care what the child s gender was? Not really, because she would love it the same. But at the same time, she was curious. She also wondered what the baby looked like since she didn t know what genetic features the alien DNA imparted. Whatever they were, they weren t negatively affecting her besides accelerating the gestational period of the baby. And she would have been sorely disappointed that she didn t get to be pregnant for 9 months if she wasn t the captain.

A child in under a week. That had to set some records at Starfleet.

Captain?

She snapped out of her thoughts to find the hologram rescanning her.

Oh, I was just thinking. She took the last bite of her cereal. Sure, I would like to know.

You are having a boy. He paused. An energetic one at that.

A son. She murmured as she again felt movement from within. Can you show me what he ll look like?

Yes, Captain. He paused. It will only be an extrapolation based on DNA markers. She nodded.

The hologram entered a few commands into his tricorder, connected it to her computer terminal and brought the terminal to her dinette.

The image of a newborn filled the screen causing Kathryn to cry out of happiness.

He s adorable, Captain. The Doctor said simply. He looks like you.

She couldn t stop crying. Hormones were scrambling her mind. But she was the captain, she had to control her emotions and be strong for everyone. She had to extremely careful not to let her crew see her tears.

She closed her eyes and attempted to focus her mushy mind to control her emotions. Darn hormones.

And if the hologram said anything, she didn t register it. Control, she thought, she had to be in control. And what was happening to her was no excuse.

Finally, Kathryn had control. The tears had stopped.

Thank you, Doctor. She said simply. This checkup was to be concluded. She was fine, the baby was fine. Now, she should do some work.

The hologram removed his tricorder and simply nodded.

Call if you need anything. He said as he left her quarters.

Kathryn knew that her current physical condition precluded her from Bridge duty and that making her usual ship wide inspections were probably not a wise activity today, so she would catch up on her paperwork here in her quarters.

She was relieved of duty, but not of command. As long as she was Voyager s captain, it was still her responsibility to make sure her ship operated in peak efficiency and it was her prerogative to run her ship from wherever she chose.

Cloistering herself in her quarters insured a level of privacy so that only a select few of her crew would know about her surprise pregnancy. Although she wasn t na ve in that rumors spread rampant aboard Voyager, she wanted this to remain private as much as possible.

The Doctor was gossipier than she liked, but she hoped that even he saw the need to keep her condition private with doctor-patient confidentiality. Chakotay usually understood that her personal details had to stay between them.

She relocated herself and her terminal back to her desk. She was due to record a personal log entry, but not sure how to enter what happened to her into the log.

She decided it was wise to mention her pregnancy as objectively as possible in the log. But she had to explain it especially if Starfleet wanted to know why she now had a child. Captains usually didn t stay on active duty when starting a family so her training told her that questions would be asked. But she still didn t have an explanation on how she came to be pregnant. She didn t have relations with anyone, nor was she consciously assaulted. The only thing she could think of as a scientist was that an unexplained alien force breached Voyager s defenses without setting off any alarms and impregnated her and two other crewmembers when they slept. And that their medical science couldn t explain why the fetuses was developing in an ultra-accelerated rate nor explain why the pregnancies couldn t be terminated.

Voyager would have three new crewmembers in a matter of days. So, keeping with their custom, Kathryn and her crew would accept these new lives into their group, their community. Especially her son.

Now, on to the sensor data from the fateful night. She had to understand what had happened to her and her crew. She had to understand why her life changed so drastically in less than 48 hours.

The sensor data was largely unremarkable that night. Standard sensors didn t pick up anything, but she knew that Voyager s sensors weren t able to pick up everything. Time and time again, some alien ships proved to be impervious to their sensors. Work arounds tended to only be temporary and if they didn t know what to look for, alien ships could pass undetected.

So, she focused on the almost undetectable disruption of the shield bubble that only showed up for a fraction of a section. Was the disruption an indication of a transporter of some sort? If so, how did the aliens not show up on internal sensors? As a Starfleet officer, she had to know.  
So she used every algorithm she knew to filter the sensor data. And one by one, no answer, no answer, no answer.

Until a long shot entered her mind. It would not help her find an energy signature of the alien ship or narrow down a transporter signature, but it might confirm the alien intrusion and it would be a start.

The alien DNA was partially in their database from the fetal scans made by the EMH. Her pregnancy was the answer. She could extrapolate the alien bio signature from her son s fetal scans. Just subtract her DNA pattern from her son s DNA pattern and she should have something to look for in the sensors.

Just then a kick caught her attention. Her hand went to her swollen abdomen and rubbed it.

Hey kiddo, your mama is about to find some answers.

The hologram wasn t kidding. The unborn child was very energetic so she was glad she wasn t trying to sleep because she wouldn t be able to.

She pulled up the fetal scans taken only hours before then pulled up her own DNA records kept within the crew manifest.

She then created a filter algorithm which analyzed and removed the human genetic code to reveal the alien genome.

Computer, load Janeway algorithm theta two four, list any sensor data during the past 48 hours that matches the parameters.

While she waited, Kathryn closed her eyes and let her mind wonder. She imagined her son at various ages growing up aboard her vessel. What would her days look like? She knew that extended Bridge duty was out of the question as a single mother, but how would that affect her style of command? But she knew that her son would bring out a part of herself she never let anyone see before not even herself. He would bring her enormous joy and happiness in his development. She would now understand her own parents pleasure over her accomplishments.

Sensor data found. The voice of the computer interrupted her musings.

Display data.

As she scrolled through the figures on the terminal, her eyes widened. Yes, intruders did come aboard her ship. And they were very deliberate in how it was done so she surmised that they scanned Voyager at some point to determine their transport coordinates.

They chose the quarters of three female officers. Were the officers chosen at random, or did they specifically target her and the two others? The data just wasn t specific enough.

All she knew from the raw data was that some alien transported to her sleeping quarters in the middle of the night and transported out only moments later. They must have some sort of medical device that could impregnate someone. The only aliens previous encountered that had that capability were the Vidians. But that was several years ago.

What use was this data except to answer the burning question on how she became pregnant. But it didn t answer why. Why did these aliens do this to Voyager? To procreate?

And will those aliens come back once her son was born to take him back? She vowed not to let that happen. Nobody would take their children away. No one had the right. She would fight them with every ounce of her being if necessary if these aliens tried to take away her son.

In her mind, the aliens were only sperm donors who gave Kathryn and her crew children to nurture and protect. She felt that she could kill for her son if the aliens tried anything.

Her son was important to her now. And although she didn t expect to have children in this part of her life, she would not take it back. Her maternal instinct was strong.

Her stomach growled. She was hungry. Lunchtime.

Normally she could go all day without eating, but baby changed that.

But she found the process of standing a bit more uncomfortable. Her center of gravity had changed and her first step was unsteady.

Nature didn t intend for these changes to occur so quickly so she had to take her movements slowly until she learned how to balance her awkward shape. And she was grateful that no one saw her stumble.

Computer, Neelix two five one.

A noodle soup that their resident Talaxian concocted was actually delicious so she asked him to program it into the replicators. The soup reminded her of comfort food.

And it smelled good. She smiled as she took the bowl back to her desk since there was still work to do.

She found it slightly easier to sit back down than to stand in her present condition, but it was tiring to do either so she rested for a few moments before turning her attention back to her terminal.

Now she would catch herself up on ship s business. Duty or not, she was the captain.

Sensor analyses, department reports even personnel reports should keep her feeling engaged. And she often enjoyed the various writing styles her officers used on their reports and logs and her favorite, although she would never admit to anyone, was Tuvok s security reports. Concise and logical, he was the best tactical officer Starfleet could have assigned her. Scratch that, she requested that Tuvok be assigned to Voyager after finding his logical way of doing things refreshing albeit contrasting to her own.

Chakotay s reports were also concise, but at the same time insulatory. He didn t always give her all the facts on personnel issues possibly thinking that as captain, it wasn t important for her to know. He would protect her not just from dangerous situations, but from personnel issues that she might be a tad more impartial towards than her first officer. Regulations did state that as captain, she didn t have to concern herself with crew matters. But she wasn t an average captain, nor was Chakotay a Starfleet officer with good standing. He had resigned to join the Maquis. She chose to grant him a field commission once their crews combined to a lieutenant commander based on the intelligence reports she still had archived in her personal database. It did take some time for her to relax her guard around him and a little longer before she called him friend. Of course, Kathryn would never admit to it, but there were certain formalities she chose to keep based on the past. However, the Maquis crewmembers were her crew now. Solidarity.

B Ellana s engineering reports were very technical and the young engineer always made her recommendations very clear. But Kathryn thought highly of her chief engineer and her abilities. She could figure out just about any engine or computer core which has been very helpful in their years in the Delta Quadrant. The engineer managed to figure out Voyager s state of the art systems faster than most of her Starfleet officers originally assigned to Voyager. This young woman was a prodigy yet Kathryn knew she would not ever have imagined meeting her if circumstances didn t go the way they did. If B Ellana hadn t been on Chakotay s Maquis ship, she would not know her talent or given her a chance to prove herself.  
The conn report was always an interesting read. Very insightful given Tom Paris s knack for frivolousness recreational habits he shared off duty. He was actually a gifted pilot and did seem to understand the capabilities of her ship. Not to mention he was the son of her mentor and Starfleet advisor. He had grown up so much since she gave him the responsibility of the conn. She knew that Admiral Paris would be proud of him, and her for giving the younger Paris a chance for redemption. Tom understood the nuances of piloting such a large vessel and didn t seem fazed when Kathryn ordered a complex maneuver.

The operations report read quite differently than her other senior officer s reports. Harry Kim was bright and inventive, but despite the years aboard her ship, he still seemed inexperienced in how he reported relevant information. She knew that he was fresh out of Starfleet Academy when she selected him for Voyager s operations post, but she liked his enthusiasm and willingness to learn. And he was very smart having graduated top of his class and still being a well-rounded young man. He also played the clarinet in a youth orchestra. To Kathryn, he would always be that idealistic young man that she felt the need to protect and mentor. He wasn t that green young officer anymore, she had to remind herself. But she needed to let him grow, experience life and be the officer she knew he was. She just hoped that he would have the chance to grow within Starfleet since she couldn t yet justify promoting him to lieutenant. Another captain might have a different perspective and do what she couldn t.

Kathryn chose to read the astrometrics report next. Seven s report was as concise as Tuvok s but a little more idealistic. Having been a drone for so long had a huge impact on Seven of Nine influencing her decisions, needs, wants. Kathryn was proud on how far she had come since Seven was disconnected from the Borg and knew that the young woman would never fully let the Collective s influence go, never completely embrace her original human identity. Seven would never be comfortable going by her human name, Annika Hansen, even though it would be better when they reach Earth. Kathryn also hoped that her guidance, her mentorship was being fully appreciated by the former drone. She also hoped that there was a day when Seven stopped referring to the Borg in some capacity. But Kathryn wasn t na ve to reject a Borg solution or perspective when it could get Voyager out of a jam. Starfleet policies were written for a far different part of space, the Delta Quadrant necessitated other ways of thinking.

Finally, the medical report. The EMH was also very matter of fact in his reporting. He also was very direct in his requests for supplies, subroutines and occasionally holographic rights. Touchy subject which necessitated her to brush up on Federation law. She acknowledged that through his massive amounts of subroutines, he had developed something that resembled sentience, but she didn t feel qualified to make the determination. As captain, he was a piece of technology, part of her ship programmed by some of the best minds in Starfleet with the databases containing the knowledge of the best doctors in the Alpha Quadrant. Sweet Kes helped her see how the Ocampan saw the hologram, as a sensitive man with feelings. And his reports didn t read like a computer written report so Kathryn was willing to consider that maybe holograms could attain sentience. After all, she knew an android who successfully argued sentience. She had met him in her youth. Data did make an impression on her as the first artificial intelligence to graduate Starfleet Academy.

The hologram did do one thing right. He did not disclose her or the other crewmembers conditions in his reports. At least his ethical subroutines were working properly.

Kathryn was satisfied. She finally felt caught up on Voyager s official status and it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. As Captain, she had to know what was happening on her ship regardless of her current condition. It was something that helped her feel useful.

The baby kicked again and this time it was a bit stronger. Her hand drifted to her belly to soothe the unborn child. She had gotten bigger in the hours she was working or so she imagined.

The pregnancy would soon get to a point where she wasn t comfortable in her own skin. When moving about her quarters would be a chore, but she hoped it wasn t for a day or so. But she didn t know how much longer this would last nor when she should expect the onslaught of labor pains.

Hey kiddo, mama can t wait to meet you.

Bridge to Janeway. A call from the Bridge interrupted her reflections. Damn, didn t the hologram didn t flag her status as off duty for medical reasons.

Janeway here.

You are needed on the Bridge.

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. Bridge duty absolutely not something she wanted to do in her present condition.

I am currently unavailable, Tuvok. Please handle the situation. Jane

Captain?

Janeway, out.

Irritated, Kathryn closed the comm channel. Under normal circumstances she would have gone to the Bridge and handled the situation, but circumstances were hardly normal. The Vulcan was usually more trusting of her decisions, but to be fair, she probably through him a curve. So, she figured that Tuvok would most likely seek her out later to understand her reasoning. She would have to tell her oldest friend about her pregnancy sooner than later.

She also owed it to her crew to give them fair warning before popping out a baby. It wouldn t be right to give birth and expect her crew to accept the fact she now had a child to take care of along with her responsibilities as captain.

But how? Having a baby was an extremely personal change for her and as a private person, she just wasn t comfortable making it public. But as captain, it was necessary. Some things couldn t stay private given her rank and position as leader of a community. So, perhaps a visit from Tuvok would be helpful in her need to disclose her condition.

Perhaps telling her senior staff first and giving them the responsibility of informing the rest of the crew would be the easiest for her. The baby s movement while fascinating, was tiring. The accelerated nature of her pregnancy was beginning to take its toll on her. Humans were not meant to have babies this quickly. Then add her age into the equation and she knew her body was doing unusually well under the strain. If all her body needed was nutrition and rest under these conditions, then she was doing fine.

A bath would help, but there was too much to do first. And she doubted her stamina to do what she needed to tomorrow since she surmised that she would be on the tail end of her pregnancy.

So, now was the time to tell her senior staff. She needed to get them assembled together and get to them without being seen by the rest of the crew. A tall order, but hardly impossible.

The first thing she came up with was asking her staff to assemble in the briefing room then beaming in so that she wouldn t be seen by any other crewmember.

Computer, inform the senior officers that the captain will make an announcement in the briefing room at 17:30 hours.

Acknowledged.

Kathryn gave herself two hours to mentally prepare for the task at hand, and to rest a bit so she would have the strength to handle the announcement. The dreaded announcement. She hadn t felt this anxious in years, not since she was promoted to captain and not even that was as terrifying.

But she was Captain Kathryn Janeway, she could do it. And her crew was like family and she hoped like family, they should be supportive of her.

Her son was kicking and she found herself rubbing her swollen belly to soothe the active child.

What a sight she was, she mused. There was no mistaking her condition. Anyone looking at her could tell that she was with child. A pregnant captain was not something she had imagined herself becoming when she was trying to get Voyager home.

She tried to prepare herself for the stunned looks she would get from her crew. They all had seen her 48 hours earlier when she negotiated with the Balou. Thin, determined and not pregnant. At that time, she had no idea that she would find herself heavily with child before the end of the week. It was still strange for her to be having a son.

She had to quickly freshen herself up. Pregnant or not, she had to maintain a level of professionalism that included perfect makeup and hair. But what irritated her slightly was that her complexion had a pregnancy glow. Extra blood flow from her condition no doubt, which made it a little more difficult to achieve her normal appearance.

She shook her head. Nothing about her was normal, nor was there any semblance of normality since she was impregnated. She was confronted with a new normal since now she was a mother.

As she finished coiffing herself, she rehearsed what she would say to her officers. The simpler the better, she decided. She had to be careful not to fall into the trap of saying too much of which was entirely possible in her condition. Hormones were still in control of her mind causing some of her normal command instincts to be nonexistent. Instincts that she needed more than ever.

Time. She asked the computer.

17:29

So it was time. She called for the meeting and she would not stand up her crew. That was not something Starfleet officers did.

Computer, initiate site to site transport; briefing room. Energize.

As she felt the familiar tingling of her ship s transporter and saw her quarters dissolve, her nerves spiked. She instantly wished she hadn t initiated transport. She wasn t ready.

Too late. The familiar sights and sounds of the briefing room came into focus including the very surprised expressions and whispers of her senior officers with the exception of the hologram who was smiling.

Before anyone could speak, Kathryn held up her hand to keep everyone quiet.

Please, save your questions until I m finished. She paused and headed to her normal chair. Everyone was focused on her. As you can see, I am pregnant. Her hand went back up.

I will tell you what I know and what I don t. First, I didn t plan on having a child. Furthermore, I do not know the child s father. Second, I have only been pregnant since the night before last. That being said, the pregnancy has been accelerated due to reasons only those who saw it fit for me to have a baby would know. I figure that this baby will come in a few days. She paused. I don t know who did this to me, but due to circumstances out of my control, it was necessary for me to accept it. But for reasons that I hope are obvious, I abstained from duty, but I m still the captain. And I am pretty sure that whoever did this to me, and two others, will come back so we need to be ready whenever that is. She paused. I will try to answer any questions.

Silence momentarily washed over her officers who were obviously recovering from her bombshell announcement.

Captain, Harry began, I m sorry, I thought the sensor disruption was

It s okay, Ensign. I saw the same readings and would have come up with the same conclusion had this not happened. She gently replied as she placed her hand on her belly.

Congratulations, Captain. Neelix said simply.

Thank you, Neelix. She paused. Tuvok, Seven, I have compiled as much information I was able to gather about the aliens who did this. I need you to come up with a defense when they come back.

How did you reach that conclusion, Captain? Tuvok asked.

Call it a hunch. Why else would they impregnate women on a passing ship? She paused. I authorize you all to tell your departments about my condition and for personal reasons, I have chosen to remain in my quarters for the duration of my pregnancy which should only be for a few more days. She nodded to the hologram.

The captain s baby is developing extraordinarily fast and has taken a physical toll on the captain. What should take 40 weeks in humans is only taking about 4 days for her. Suffice it to say, the captain needs all the rest she can get before returning to duty.

Almost on cue, Kathryn stifled a yawn.

Are you okay? Both Chakotay and Tom Paris asked simultaneously.

I m fine, just tired. The baby doesn t always let me sleep.

So, boy or girl? The young Klingon engineer asked. Kathryn nodded.

Only for me to know right now. She replied as she found a sudden overwhelming wave of exhaustion take hold. She fought the urge to close her eyes right where she was.

And it wasn t lost on several of her officers.

Let s wrap this up. The captain needs her rest. Chakotay said stopping the conversation. What was said needed to soak in and Kathryn needed urgent rest. Even though she hid it well, he knew the pregnancy was rough on her.

Dismissed. Kathryn had barely enough energy to dismiss her officers but chose to remain in her chair in an attempt to get enough energy to transport back to her quarters.

She had no idea how powerful and sudden the fatigue would be in the latter part of her pregnancy. It wasn t easy to fight it.

She realized that two officers had remained. Chakotay and the hologram. She knew why the doctor had stayed, but wasn t sure why Chakotay did.

Commander, could you excuse us. Kathryn said only slightly above a whisper.

Call me if you need anything, Kathryn. He said before leaving the briefing room.

Doctor? She was barely tracking the hologram. Why do I feel like this? It s like someone unplugged what energy I had.

As the baby gets bigger, he demands more from your body.

Is that why I am now uncomfortable in my skin and hurt all over?

The doctor scanned her with a tricorder.

Yes. You will get past this. He paused. Although you re tired, Captain, I need you to eat before going to bed and I will send a vitamin hypospray to your replicator.

I ll try, Doctor.

Be sure you do. Nutrition will be the only way you ll be able to bounce back from this. If you don t, you will suffer from malnutrition once the baby is born and you may not be cleared for duty. You also risk fetal malnutrition.

All right, all right! Kathryn mustered up what little energy she had and pushed herself to her feet. I ll do it. Transport me back to my quarters.

Okay, but I m coming with you.

As you wish. Her voice was now a hoarse whisper. Computer, site to site transport to the captain s quarters; authorization Janeway lambda two.

Again, she felt the tingle of the transporter and the room dissolve around her.

As the familiar sight of her quarters formed around her, she realized that the hologram had somehow transported to her quarters with her.

As soon as the transport finished, she watched as the hologram went to her replicator and imputed a few commands.

Kathryn lowered herself into her reading chair and couldn t get comfortable. Between her back and pelvis, the growing baby just wouldn t have it. How she was going to survive the remaining pregnancy was a good question.

She moaned as she felt the EMH press a hypospray against her neck. Then the smell of Leola root assaulted her nose.

She knew why the hologram chose a Leola root dish for her to eat. Though it was highly nutritious, but she barely tolerated Leola root. She would only eat it if Neelix was watching so she wouldn t be accused of setting a bad example. The Talaxian wasn t afraid to confront her on an issue even though she was the captain. He didn t understand that you just didn t accuse a superior officer of something because you disagree with her. She learned to tolerate that too.

Leola root, Doctor? I thought you wanted me to eat?

I know Leola root isn t your favorite, but it s incredibly nutritious and right now, that s what you and your baby needs. The hologram said as he handed a bowl of Leola root stew to Kathryn. If she pretended it was chicken, maybe she could tolerate the meal so she could go to bed. Bed, that s what she really wanted to do.

How is it that you use my son as leverage to get me to comply? I certainly don t appreciate that. She forced herself to take a bite of the stew. Not bad tasting, but not that good either.

You have a history of ignoring your own needs, Captain; but if I remind you about your baby, you are more likely to take me serious. She rolled her eyes as she forced herself to take another bite. And I will stay until you finish the bowl.

I m not a child, Doctor! She snapped.

But you are as stubborn as one. That s why you are such a good commanding officer, but as your chief medical officer, it is my duty to keep this crew healthy including you and your child.

Fine. She mumbled as she forced herself to finish eating. It was difficult to do given just how exhausted she was. If she closed her eyes for a nanosecond, then she would be out cold and personal pride indicated that she wouldn t like the consequences.

All right, Doctor. She paused as she gave the empty bowl back to the hologram. Help me to bed.

She knew her legs would be mush and was uncertain just how swollen her feet were since her belly now obscured her view.

As the hologram helped her to her feet, she realized that she was at the tail end of her mobility. She was big and knew she d become larger before having the baby which threatened the self-sufficiency she was used to. She also worried that the baby would grow too large for her to carry and thus cause damage to her body. Could it kill her? She was just too tired to analyze it any further.

As soon as she laid down, she was out.

The hologram did his best to adjust her position so she wouldn t awake to discomfort before he left himself out of her quarters. 


	5. Chapter 5

As she finally awoke, she noted that her ability to breathe was seriously restricted and it felt like the baby had pressed a foot into her ribcage. Then add her back, pelvis, bladder and she felt miserable. She also felt heavy like she put on a few kilos since yesterday.

She was ready for the baby to be born but short of that, she knew that it would be easier for her to sleep than be up and about. She also wouldn t have to dwell on her current condition.

She hoped labor would soon come since Kathryn Janeway was now ready for the pregnancy to end so she could resume her duties as the captain.  
She also hoped for no visitors since she felt rather peevish.

And the baby s movement was tiresome. It no longer held any novelty or fascination for her given how big the baby got already. And he would get bigger much to her consternation.

So Kathryn decided she would stay in bed for the remainder of her pregnancy.

Finally, the baby shifted and the foot in her ribcage was gone. She could breathe again and sleep again. And ignore the hologram s suggestion to keep up her nutrition and keep the baby from making her more uncomfortable.

The buzzer sounded.

Annoyed, she rolled onto her side away from the door. She wanted no visitors right now, captain s prerogative. Her rank usually afforded her privacy and flexibility in how she interfaced with her crew and ship, but apparently not recently.

Go away she wanted to scream, but she didn t nor did she give permission to enter. This would require the visitor to use emergency codes to come in and only three other officers were authorized to open the captain s quarters.

Good morning, Captain.

It was the hologram. He was in her quarters twice in 12 hours which was twice too many. Pushing herself to a sitting position, she was very annoyed.  
That s a matter of opinion. Kathryn muttered sarcastically as he entered her sleeping quarters.

Problems?

What do you think, Doctor? She paused before deciding not to let him answer. I need you to induce labor, Captain s orders.

Not unless it s absolutely necessary, Captain. Doctor s orders and in case you forgot, I outrank you in health matters. Besides, delivering the baby the old fashioned way is not an option.

Why not? She placed her hand on her very swollen abdomen and felt a reaction from within.

The baby is too big for you to deliver.

What do you mean, too big?

Forgive me, Captain, but you are petite and the baby is not probably due to alien DNA. You can carry him to term, but the moment you go into labor, we ll have to perform a fetal transport.

Born via transporter? That just seems wrong. She said as the hologram scanned her with his tricorder. But I guess I have little choice.

Well, my scans tell me you won t have to wait much longer. I believe labor will begin within a day, but I won t do anything to start it before your body is ready. He paused. The baby is healthy, but you, not so much. You are malnourished and anemic most likely due to you not taking care of yourself adequately.

I try, but it s not easy when baby is stealing all my nutrition. She paused. Humans aren t supposed to have a baby this quickly. And why are you only now accusing me of being malnourished?

Because it s only now affecting you. 


	6. Chapter 6

Kathryn spent most of her day in bed trying to sleep even though she felt uncomfortable and heavy. She was done being pregnant, tired, hungry and uncomfortable in her own skin. And she craved the therapeutic effects of her coffee.

All she could do was wait for labor to start which she was dreading. She was told it was intense for some, painful for others, but she knew for sure that hers would be different since the pregnancy was highly unusual the whole way through.

She desperately wanted to be productive as a captain, review reports and be involved in ship s decisions, but she could not focus on anything besides being uncomfortably pregnant. Her belly seemed overly stretched out and huge. Kathryn hated it.

Her buzzer sounded.

She moaned since the last several visits were the holographic doctor checking on her. In her current mindset, she wanted to decompile him if he bothered her again.

Kathryn? It was Chakotay s voice coming through the bulkheads. Are you up for visitors?

She sighed. Vanity and pride went through her mind as reason to deny him so he wouldn t see how much she had changed, but boredom overrode her decision.

Come. She managed to say as she slowly pushed herself to a sitting position which she found difficult to do. She was attempting to stand when Chakotay entered.

Get my robe for me. She murmured while gesturing towards her lavatory with her right hand. Her left hand rested on her swollen abdomen.

Chakotay tried not to stare, but he couldn t help it. It was strange for him to see her so heavily pregnant, but he knew she had no control over what was happening to her. He knew she was going crazy.

When he brought her the robe, she motioned for him to help her stand. She then put her robe on and tied the cloth belt above her swollen abdomen.

Kathryn, with your permission, a few of us wanted to throw you a baby shower.

She smiled.

Oh, thank you, but I m not sure I can handle it. Just being out of bed is exhausting.

Well, it s only a few of us and we won t ask anything in return. We want to do this for you especially since this caught everyone by surprise.

Kathryn tried to lean against the bulkhead.

Yeah, you can imagine my reaction. She paused. Just don t expect me to last very long or stand. The baby

I know and we ll stop when you tell us. How about I ll help you to your reading chair?

All right. She smiled as he tried to support her walk. Her steps were unsteady and showed how difficult the pregnancy was on her.

The short walk to her living quarters was tedious and Kathryn tried not to show how physically uncomfortable it was on her, but she would endure it to be polite to her crew.

As she lowered herself into her chair, she didn t realize just how out of breath she was nor did she realize how sore her feet had become once she put them up even though she really couldn t see them. She visibly sighed in relief.

Chakotay placed a blanket over the lower half of her body.

Tea? She nodded as he went to her replicator.

Thanks. He handed her the cup.

Ready for your shower?

Okay. She murmured softly before taking a sip.

Chakotay to Paris, permission granted.

Just then the doors in her quarters opened and a half a dozen of her trusted senior officers came in. Kathryn couldn t help the surprised look on her face.

Harry, Tom, B Elanna, Neelix, Seven, Tuvok came in bringing apparent gifts in which her first instinct as the captain would try to reject because of the circumstances. However, she thought better of it and decided to accept all of it.

She also endured the annoying stream of congratulations most of her officers were giving her even though they should have all known that having a child wasn t her idea. She decided that if she could handle to Borg, she could handle this awkward attention.

So, are you ready to tell us what you re having? Her engineer quipped in her no nonsense tone.

Do I have to tell you guys everything? Kathryn playfully retorted while rubbing her belly. You will find out soon enough.

What an interesting process having one s body adapt in such a fashion. Seven stated.

Tom, Harry and B Elanna all reacted.

It is indeed. Kathryn paused. Albeit a little too quickly for my tastes. I would rather it happened more gradually like nature intended instead of the baby rushing through it.

Captain, we all got together and decided that we should celebrate the upcoming arrival of your child. And to let you know that you have all our support and help in raising the newest member of our crew. Chakotay openly declared causing Kathryn to smile. She fought an overwhelming urge to cry. Hormones, she silently cursed.

It does not matter how it happened, Captain. Let us help you. Tom added.

After all we ve been successful with Naomi. Neelix said.

That is true. Tuvok chimed in. This crew is willing to do whatever is necessary to ease your burden in being a parent and the captain. You need not do this on your own.

I get the point Putting her hand up, Kathryn paused and softened her voice. And I hardly thought I would have to, but it deeply gratifies me to hear you all say it. Now, I will get to open your gifts before I m too tired?

Several of her crew smiled and one by one handed gifts to the increasingly delighted captain. Kathryn was enjoying the get together so much that she no longer focused on her discomforts nor did she pay attention to her increasing fatigue. She also lost track of time.

It wasn t until Seven excused herself did Kathryn realize that it was relatively late. And though it was highly improper under normal circumstances, Kathryn accepted hugs from many of her officers as the shower concluded.

Chakotay remained sensing Kathryn would need help getting back to bed.

Had fun? He asked her as he held out a hand to help her up.

Immensely. She managed to say as she did her best to stand. Thank you so much for Her words faded as she felt a strong pain rippling through her abdomen nearly causing her to fall if Chakotay hadn t been supporting her. Oh, my! She swallowed squeezing his hand hard. I think it s time. Kathryn? Chakotay hadn t really been paying attention to the conversation until now.

Its time. Kathryn managed to say again as she felt labor set in.

Time?! He repeated. We need to get you to sickbay. Can you walk?

Don t know She found herself focusing on breathing through the pain. The contractions were intense and surprisingly close together. The labor was like the pregnancy, hyper accelerated.

Chakotay to Sickbay, it s time.

Relax, Commander. Can the captain walk? The disembodied voice of the hologram asked. Kathryn shook her head not trusting her words through the pain.

I don t think so. Chakotay interpreted.

All right, stand by for transport.

It was a disconcerting feeling for her to feel the familiar tingle of the transporter blended into the ever so consuming labor pain.

When she finally gained some bearing, she found herself being helped onto the surgical biobed which had been isolated from the rest of sickbay by a privacy force field. A Starfleet incubation unit was adjacent to the biobed.

The moments of lucidity between contractions brought an overwhelming fear to Kathryn. This was happening, she was bringing a new life onto her ship. It was wrong, wrong wrong.

Keep breathing, Captain. The hologram said as he bustled around making sure everything was set for his high ranking patient. I am making the last minute calculations for fetal transport.

Fetal transport? Chakotay asked.

The baby is too big for her to deliver, Commander. Fetal transport will be safest option.

Kathryn barely tracked the conversation and tried to keep from reacting to the contractions wracking her body. She wanted to keep what little pride she had left.

All right, Captain, just keep breathing and resist the urge to push. You will feel an odd sensation during the transport, do not be alarmed. She nodded as tears started since the pain was too much.

That odd tingling soon interrupted the pain and the contraction mellowed out dramatically. Kathryn soon saw a baby materialize in the incubation unit.  
This transport felt longer than normal even though she knew it wasn t.

Chakotay turned towards the materializing infant.

You have a son. He said as he turned back to his exhausted captain.

Keep still, Captain, I am now transporting your afterbirth. He paused Done.

The hologram swaddled the baby in a Starfleet issue blanket then handed him to Kathryn before exiting the surgical suite.

Though exhausted, Kathryn fought to keep awake so she could hold her child and bond with him. She noted how much he looked like her except for the small ridge on the small of his nose, the only visible vestige of his alien father. But he had her blue eyes. She beamed. Motherhood was immediate and absolute. She loved the child and felt the need to protect him at all costs. At the moment, her child was more important than her command. Now she understood how her mother felt about her.

Chakotay smiled as he watched the way Kathryn ignored everything but the child she held. The child was cute in his opinion and he was delighted that she completely accepted the baby despite only having days to adjust to becoming a mother.

What have you named him?

Henry. She quietly murmured while stroking the baby s forehead. I didn t know how it s possible to love someone this much. But I do. More than my two fianc s even. She paused and kissed the child. I didn t know it was possible.

Our mighty starship captain humbled by a newborn Chakotay whispered.

How is that surprising? Especially with this newborn, my son. The baby fussed a bit causing her to focus back on the child. Shh, Henry, sweetheart.

Perhaps he s hungry, Kathryn. He paused. How do you plan on feeding him?

I don t know The hologram returned interrupting her train of thought.

What did you name your child? He asked as he operated his tricorder.

Henry Alexander.

I will enter into the ship manifest that Henry Alexander Janeway was born this stardate to Kathryn Janeway, Captain, USS Voyager. The hologram stated as he entered the information into the tricorder.

I better get to the bridge. May I inform the senior staff of Henry? Chakotay asked as he noticed the time. She tiredly nodded.

Congratulations, Kathryn. He said as he walked out.

Doctor, the other pregnant crewmembers? Did they? Kathryn found her energy and focus rapidly fading, but she had to know.

Also resting comfortably with their babies. All three of you did reasonably well given the accelerated gestation. Both Parsons and Celes will be able to return to quarters in a few hours, however, I need you to stay for observation and so I can treat your malnutrition.

Do what you must, Doctor. She paused and studied her child. Henry is hungry. How will I feed him?

By bottle, Captain. You are in no condition to breast feed. She nodded.

Okay. I need you make me healthy as soon as possible Henry needs his mother and Voyager needs her captain. She closed her eyes for a second. And take him now. I can no longer fight the fatigue.

The hologram took the baby just in time as she fell asleep and placed him back in the incubator unit. The next order of business was nutrition for both mother and child since he did agree, he had to get Voyager s captain back on her feet as quickly as possible but not before he was satisfied with her health. Starship captains were notoriously bad about their personal health, and too much was at stake here.

Only the best formula for the baby of mixed heritage. He still didn t know much about the alien genome so he would have to monitor him for any issues since the formula was designed for humans.

And only the best nutritional care for his weakened captain. Plenty of micronutrients, minerals and iron along with caloric rich supplements to make up for the deficiencies brought on by the sudden accelerated nature of carrying an offspring for only days instead of nine months.

The Doctor prepared a series of hyposprays for Kathryn with a blend of micronutrients and other supplements and a bottle of formula for the baby.

The hyposprays could be given while she was asleep and would be beneficial while she was recouping and a nutritional shake would be given when she awoke.

Five hyposprays wasn t excessive and would no doubt make her feel a lot better.

When he was finished, he proceeded to bottle feed little Henry. He carefully picked up the baby who had grown some since birth and took him to his office. Sitting in his office chair, he adjusted the baby so that the bottle would be easy for the child to take. 


	7. Chapter 7

Six hours later, Kathryn began to stir.

Momentarily disoriented, she remembered what had happened including why she was still in sickbay, but appreciative of the low lighting.

She moaned softly as she tried to sit up. She was incredibly sore and using her core to sit up was painful. In time she would heal from the pregnancy. But it would take work since her abdomen was still slightly swollen. Had she gained weight from her accelerated pregnancy or was she still enflamed from the trauma.

She glanced around looking for her child. The hologram had him in a crib a few meters away, but the child wasn t an infant anymore, he looked more like a toddler. It was slightly disconcerting since it meant that her son was maturing as quickly outside her womb as he did within. Her child would age faster than her and she might miss important stages of development. Somehow the aging process needed to be slowed down.

Doctor? She rasped.

The hologram instantly rushed to her side.

How are you feeling, Captain?

Fine sore actually. How long?

Six hours. You are recovering nicely. She smiled.

Any way to slow Henry s aging?

Not at present, but I have been researching it since you fell asleep and will continue until I can give you answers. In the meantime, please try to get comfortable while I get you the nutritional supplement that help get you back on your feet. She nodded.

Kathryn slowly fluffed the pillows assembled on the biobed. She had to take it easy as the soreness was more than uncomfortable.

She could not take her eyes off of her child. She knew that her heart now belonged to him and she never had loved anyone that much in her life. But, at the same time, her scientific mind was fascinated at the child s alien features becoming more prominent every time she looked at him. She endeavored to memorize those features should the aliens return. And her hunch told her they would be back.

The hologram handed her a tall beverage which she absentmindedly took a sip. It had a thick, vaguely vanilla taste that she could barely tolerate. But she was goal oriented and knew he would only release her if she drank the awful concoction.

Thanks. She forced herself to be polite.

Let me know if you need anything, Captain. He said as he went back to his office.

Kathryn let her mind wonder a bit as she drank the supplement. She imagined her son at different ages and wondered what life choices he would make, what his strengths would be, what he would grow up to do. Would he follow in her footsteps and join Starfleet or do something different?

She still was in awe in the fact that fate decided to give her a son. She previously accepted the notion she would never have children when Voyager was thrown into the Delta Quadrant, that her family was her crew. And if by chance she did get her crew home, she would be too old to start a family with anyone. Her career was always first, but deep in her heart, she wanted a child of her own. And now she had one thanks to some unknown alien. But fortunately the child had her distinctly Irish features that were so prized in her family for generations. Her child was definitely a Janeway regardless of his cute alien features along his nose.

Suddenly a jolt in the inertial dampeners betrayed her musings causing her to push herself up. A second jolt sent her captain s instinct into full alert. She then realized she wasn t wearing her commbadge so she couldn t find out what was going on.

One thing was certain, someone was firing on her ship.

And, her place was on the bridge.

Not in sickbay. So, she pushed herself to her feet and found her way to the surgical station to check sensors and grab her commbadge, stopping momentarily to kiss her son.

Her legs were a bit wobbly and her center of gravity was way different than the last time she was on her feet, but she persevered. She needed to get to the bridge.

The Doctor rushed to try to get her back to bed and another jolt almost helped him stop her.

Sorry, Doctor, but if we re under attack, my place is on the bridge. She said as she programmed the surgical terminal. Keep Henry safe. She added as the transporter dematerialized her.

She materialized in her quarters so she could quickly clean up before taking command.

Forcing her legs to work, she quickly took a sonic shower and proceeded to get dressed. She had to replicate a larger sized uniform to accommodate her new shape. With her uniform on, she pulled her hair back since there was no time to style it and powdered her face. Finally, her pips, commbadge and boots and she was on her way to the bridge.

Another jolt told her the attack was still underway.

Her captain s instinct overrode her physical discomfort although she found standing very difficult. She leaned against the turbolift.

As the turbolift doors opened, she forced herself to stand in her command stance and chose to listen as Chakotay was negotiating with an alien on the viewscreen. Something about the alien was familiar, his features. These aliens were responsible for her pregnancy. And she knew her hunch was right.  
A reference to her rank snapped her out of her thoughts and she was in the moment.

Captain, these are the Tumay. Chakotay started. Commander Cona says we have their property, but he would not be specific.

Kathryn lowered herself in her command chair before her legs gave out.

Commander Cona, you have a lot of explaining to do.

Captain Janeway is it? I see no need to explain anything to you. Just lower your shields and we will take back what is ours.

I m sorry, I don t respond well to threats. She paused. And I m afraid we don t have anything here that s yours. Leave or I will retaliate.

Kathryn? Chakotay whispered. She looked at him with a determined expression.

Captain, we won t leave until you give us the children. Cona hissed. Now!

Chakotay finally understood. And right now the captain was acting as a mother protecting her young and he knew that this may not end well. She would not hand over her child.

I don t think so. You may have impregnated us, but the children are not yours. And I won t ask my crew to hand them over to you. She spat. Not to some bullies who fire on my ship.

We are desperate for them, Captain. We need not fire on you if you cooperate. Give them to us!

No. She paused for a moment switching tactics. But I agree, violence is not the answer. Maybe we can come to an understanding.

What do you have in mind?

A discussion in person for starters. Tuvok, make it happen.

As soon as the channel closed, Kathryn exhaled. She was hurting. She knew she wasn t ready to be on her feet, but she had to do this.

Kathryn? The Doctor didn t release you? Chakotay asked. She shook her head. Are you sure about this meeting?

No, but I need to know why they impregnated us.

Let me do it, Kathryn. You re in no shape to negotiate with Commander Cona. Go back to sickbay, let the Doctor help you.

When this is over, Commander. When I m sure that the Tumay won t take Henry and the others. I don t think I can survive if I lose him. She paused. Help me to the briefing room. He took her hand helping her to her feet and slowly helped her walk.

Noticing the odd glances at her current difficulties, she tried to wave it off.

I m fine, everyone. As you were. Kathryn stated in the best authoritative voice she could.

As they entered the briefing room, Chakotay didn t let go.

They are all worried about you, Kathryn. Having a baby is no small feat and they know you are hardly in a condition to be negotiating for Voyager.

She sat in her customary chair.

Do you question my ability to speak for this ship?

No. I believe you can do your job even if a razor beast tore off your legs. But I don t wish to lose you because your body can t handle the strain.

Point taken, Chakotay. She smiled. Sit next to me. Keep an eye on me, make sure I get through this meeting. After that, I ll confine myself to sickbay.

Will do. Chakotay said as he took the chair on her right.

Just then Tuvok entered with two security officers.

Commander Cona. The Vulcan announced.

The visitor walked into the briefing room. The Tumay commander wasn t any bigger than a standard human and with the exception of a ridge on the small of his nose, he was rather unremarkable looking. His uniform reminded Kathryn of the uniforms worn by the Devore.

Tuvok took his place to her left and the security officers stayed near the door.

Cona stood at the other end of the table.

All right, Commander, explain? Why did you impregnate us?

We have no choice, Captain. We scan passing ships for compatible females, and impregnate three of them. We then come back for the offspring. It s the only way.

The only way?

Several generations ago, our people were stricken with a condition that sterilized our females. To continue our race, we rely on the females of other races to bear our offspring.

Certainly there s another way. She paused. Our species does not tolerate this sort of behavior nor do we hand over our children to those who essentially raped us just because. We take the process of having children very seriously, we bond and love our children deeply.

Rape? What did you mean by that?

Not giving your victims a choice on whether they want to have a baby especially in a fraction of the time our species normally has them. She paused. You force a baby on us, give us a chance to bond with him then expect us to hand him over? We can t do that. Now, if you approached us openly, we would have done whatever is possible to help your people. Our doctor is very proficient and may have cured whatever has been sterilizing your people. We still might. But it depends on you.

How so?

By telling us how to slow down the aging process in the children.

Ah, you were one of the females. I see it in your eyes. He paused hoping for a reaction.

She wouldn t give it.

We might be persuaded to tell you what you want to know.

You will tell us. She hissed briefly wanting to rise out of her chair, but aborting due to pain.

Captain? Tuvok spoke up. You can t

Tuvok! Chakotay cut him off.

Well? There was a slight edge to her voice.

I need to discuss it with the others. Cona straightened in such a way that Kathryn knew he was done. A series of nods from Kathryn to Tuvok to the security officers conveyed the order to return the visitor to his ship.

As soon as Cona left, Kathryn let herself succumb to the pain. Her body throbbed all over and she could no longer suppress her reaction. She lowered her head into her hands.

We need to get you back to sickbay. Chakotay said softly causing her to straighten up in her chair. She hated being vulnerable, but she knew she shouldn t be up so she wasn t going to fight this.

All right, I ll go. She relented to Chakotay before turning to Tuvok. Keep me updated on the Tumay.

Aye, Captain. Tuvok paused before leaving the briefing room to continue his duties.

Chakotay helped Kathryn slowly rise from her chair. Neither understood why standing caused so much pain for her and she figured something was wrong. Yes, she should not have been on her feet this soon, but it should not have hurt her as much as it did.

They needed to get to sickbay now to see what was wrong and to check on her son.

As soon as they made past the briefing room wall terminal, Kathryn s legs crumpled and she collapsed. She blacked out when her head hit the deckplate.

Kathryn! Chakotay reacted as she fell.

Chakotay to sickbay. Chakotay paused. Medical emergency. Beam the captain to sickbay immediately.

The blue shimmer of the transporter dematerialized her in a matter of seconds and Chakotay sprinted out the back entrance of the briefing room into the corridor behind the bridge. 


	8. Chapter 8

When Chakotay finally entered sickbay, he found Kathryn lying on a biobed with the Doctor hovering over her with a tricorder.

Hmm. That s odd. The hologram muttered as he studied the tricorder.

Doctor, what is it? What s wrong?

There s a protein in the captain s bloodstream that did not show up before now. He paused. I m not sure where it came from, but it s causing an acute reaction in her system hindering her recovery.

Could Kathryn have been exposed to it during her pregnancy? Her son is half Tumay.

Possibly. But I didn t detect it during her prenatal exams. The hologram paused. It could have been created perinatal from the sudden delivery of her baby via the transporter. Maybe she was exposed ever so briefly to the alien genome during delivery, I m not certain. Neutralizing the protein is the only way she ll get better.

Chakotay nodded and then glanced around sickbay.

Where s Henry? He asked before turning back to Kathryn.

Neelix is watching him. The hologram paused. The boy needed someone to give him attention and I needed to work on slowing his aging process. I figured Neelix has experience with children and would be willing to do it. I didn t think the captain would mind.

Thank you, Doctor.

The hologram loaded a hypospray and applied it to the captain.

Just then she took a deep breath and her eyelids flickered as she became conscious.

Kathryn? Chakotay whispered softly.

What happened? She breathed as she finally opened her eyes.

You collapsed in the briefing room. Chakotay gently answered knowing the EMH would elaborate.

Scans showed that you had a protein in your bloodstream that you had a poor reaction to. I have neutralized it. You will recover, but I need you off your feet for several more days so you can heal properly from your pregnancy.

Aye, Sir. She paused. I ll work here. Where s Henry?

Kathryn found her strength improving and knew that she didn t need to be on her feet to be involved in ship-wide decisions. She also needed to do more research on the Tumay so she would be blindsided by anything. After all, she was the captain.

With Neelix.

Kathryn smiled and motioned for a few pillows.

Get me a workstation and a cup of coffee.

Coffee, Captain? The hologram responded disapprovingly.

Only way I ll stay here, Doctor.

Very well. The hologram reluctantly replied as he fluffed a few pillows before arranging them under her back. Chakotay brought a workstation with a few PADDs on a surgical cart close to her before going to get her coffee.

Kathryn immediately used her command codes to logon to the workstation and pulled up a list of sensor scans to review.

Chakotay then returned with a steaming cup of coffee while smiling.

A tall cup of black coffee for our intrepid captain. He crooned while handing the cup to her.

Why, thank you. She said as she sipped the brew. You don t know how much I missed this.

It s only been five days since your last cup unless you cheated. He retorted.

I didn t cheat. Coffee made me nauseated when I was pregnant.

Kathryn Janeway finding coffee nauseating, sorry I missed that. He jested.

Hey, don t you tell anyone about that. Coffee is how I get through stressful situations. You don t want me to be on the bridge before my first cup. She took another sip. I m not pleasant to be around.

That s for certain He paused as they both heard the sickbay doors open.

Kathryn gasped at the sight of Neelix walking beside a young child, her son.

She could not believe how much he had grown since she last saw him. He was walking which was at least one milestone she had missed in his development.

I thought Henry would like to spend some time with his mother. Neelix stated. Kathryn nodded.

Yes, of course. She said as she sat her cup next to her workstation. Henry, sweetheart.

Neelix lifted the child onto her lap as she smiled.

We ll give you some privacy. Chakotay offered before turning to the Talaxian. Let s go, Neelix. They left.

The boy looked up at Kathryn with his dark blue eyes. And for some reason she could not understand, she didn t know what to do next. Kathryn was unaccustomed to being unsure especially in front of an innocent. But her heart was so full of joy that all she could do was study the child that was born from her.

Mama. Came a child s voice so precious that she nearly missed it. He spoke and her world would never be the same.

Yes, baby. I m your mama. She murmured softly. I love you so much.

The child smiled and opened his arms to her. Instinct kicked in and Kathryn pulled him to her chest, kissed him on the forehead and then held the boy.  
She wished that time would stop so she could hold her son forever.

Nothing else mattered anymore, not her command nor anything she used to hold dear. Now her life belonged to her child. Everything she did from now on was for him.

My sweet boy. I m new at this, but I promise with my whole heart to love and care for you always. She said so softly that only the child cuddled against her chest heard it.

She carefully shifted the child onto her left arm and grabbed her coffee with her right hand. She needed to work so she required the clarity that coffee brought her. The child would be okay resting on her while she worked. And at present, she had to be the captain to protect her son.

As soon as she downed enough coffee, she set the cup down and did her best to access the sensor logs. The Tumay vessels had a type of stealth technology that made them difficult to track unless they wanted to be. Her initial research helped a little, but was useless outside primary sensor range.

She needed to know how to overcome this or her son would never be safe. She paused, her son s life wasn t the only life at risk, there were two other children at risk. And she understood exactly how the other women would feel if the Tumay tried to take the children from Voyager. And no way would she permit the Tumay to take their children.

There had to be a pattern in the sensor scans, something that Voyager s sensors could detect. The Tumay ship s stealth approach had to be beaten. And with her science and engineering background, she was equipped to find a solution. As was several other gifted minds on her ship who knew what was at stake.

She glanced at her son who had fallen asleep against her left shoulder. He was adorable and she still marveled on how he was created from a part of her, grew within her womb and was now was a unique person with a future all his own. He could be Voyager s future if their trip did in fact take decades to complete.

But first thing s first, Kathryn had to protect him from the Tumay. Desperate as the Tumay were, the threat was real since she was viewed by the Tumay as merely as an egg donor, a female that could bear offspring. They didn t understand the emotional attachment human mothers had to their children and how it changes their perspective on life.

Absolute love was something she now understood as a mother. It changed her, enhanced her protective instinct she first developed as a commanding officer. She was much more protective now, fiercely protective.

She resolved in her mind that she would and could be both mother to her son and captain to Voyager of whom was nearly as treasured as her boy. She could do both, she would do both. Kathryn Janeway was capable of doing it and pleased that her fears about the future and motherhood were gone when she held Henry for the first time.

She focused back on the sensor data. There had to be a detail she wasn t seeing, something that would allow Voyager to pick up the Tumay before they could threaten her ship. 


	9. Chapter 9

Something was wrong. The weight of her son was in flux causing Kathryn to change her focus to the boy. A red alert screamed in her head when she recognized a transport was in progress. Someone was transporting her son.

She screamed with a bloodcurdling tone that the hologram was there when she finally took a breath.

He s gone! She cried before tapping her commbadge. Janeway to Bridge. He s gone. Her voice barely made it through the comm as she was trying to suppress her grief.

Gone? Who s gone? Came Chakotay s distracted voice.

Henry. She paused trying to keep her composure. The Tumay must have taken him. Track them and set a pursuit course.

Aye, Captain.

Keep me informed, Janeway out. She said as she closed the channel.

Kathryn s heart was breaking. Henry had been become her life and she was afraid that she would lose her son. Nevertheless, she was willing to pursue the Tumay. She would do whatever it took to get her child back no matter the cost, even if it meant sacrificing her vessel, crew or herself. After all, Henry was her little boy and she loved him more than life itself.

She would not accept failure now.

Using her command codes, Kathryn tapped into the tactical and sensor logs so she could track the progress of her bridge officers. Tuvok had pinpointed the Tumay s ship and both their ship and Voyager was at high warp. The chase was on.

Voyager wasn t within transporter range of the kidnapped children just yet, but she was actively scanning for human and Bajoran life signs. She realized that Harry Kim was probably doing the same from his bridge station. Was he detecting her efforts? She didn t care.

And if she managed to lock on to the children, and Kim did the same, would there be a conflict in the transport lock. Kathryn decided that though her feelings were motivating her actions, she would ultimately let Kim do his job.

But she would not rest until the children were back aboard Voyager and Henry was in her arms. She just hated that her body wasn t up to par and she was stuck in bed. However, she wasn t interested in taxing her body just yet. It wasn t time for her to sacrifice herself just yet especially if they were successful in rescuing the children. Her son needed her alive.

However, Kathryn found it difficult not to openly cry. Her son was technically missing and the emotional pain was difficult to compartmentalize. But she was the captain. She didn t get promoted by giving into her feelings even when they were overwhelming. And she was a woman with deep feelings. So she funneled her emotional pain into extreme determination to complete her goal, getting the children back, getting her son back. Nothing else mattered.

And the Tumay were playing hard to get by somehow staying just beyond transporter range so she began working on extending the range. As she was working, she sighed. Kathryn felt powerless where she was. Here she was confined to sickbay when she wanted to be on the bridge leading the search, pushing for a rescue of her son and the other children. Instead she had to accept tracking Voyager s efforts from her sickbay workstation. It had to do, but it was hard to sit still when she needed to do something more than sit on the sidelines when every fiber of her being wanting to do what it took to get Henry back.

Adrenaline surged through her fueling a deep anxiety and an ever so slight bout of nausea. Not good when she was recovering, healing, from her pregnancy, but she couldn t help it. Her son was her life, her purpose for living, and she would not feel better until he was back in her arms safe and sound. And she was determined to get him back even if it delayed Voyager from her original goal of getting back to the Alpha Quadrant. It did not matter. Her son came first.

The Tumay ship fired weapons at Voyager further agitating Kathryn. She knew this was an attempt to keep Voyager from keeping the children back. She wanted to hiss at them when she felt the slight jolt that accompanied weapons fire on her ship. She needed to be on the bridge.

Her eyes widened when she felt Voyager dropping out of warp. The weapons had destabilized the engines furthering the distance between Voyager and the other vessel. The Tumay ship soon went out of sensor range and Kathryn cursed under her breath. She could not break down not now, not yet. After all, she was still the captain and she needed to know what was happening beyond what she could monitor herself.

Janeway to bridge, report! She called loud enough for her voice to activate the comm.

We ve dropped out of warp, Captain. B Elanna has crews repairing the engines. Warp drive will be back online in 2 hours. Chakotay reported. He was understandably distracted she figured.

What about the Tumay vessel? She asked while trying not to fear the worst.

We lost them. He paused as her heart sank. She tried not to react. Don t worry, Captain. We will find them. We will find them, Kathryn. Chakotay out.

Kathryn was trembling uncontrollably; her emotions were overwhelming threatening to strip her of any pride she had left. She finally could not hold back her tears as she realized that her main reason for living was gone. Her son, Henry, was snatched from her arms. Now she was left with the pain, an agony she had no words to describe. The grief was more intense than anything she had previously experienced and she felt herself shutting down on the inside.

Gone, gone, gone was all she could think about. Nothing else mattered. Gone, gone, gone.

The Doctor had come over and was apparently saying something to her, but she could not focus on the words. Disorientation was temporarily taking hold.  
The shell shock must have been so obvious to the hologram that the next thing she peripherally knew was her usually calming first officer approaching her. She didn t know if he was trying to give a sympathetic smile as her mind couldn t handle the stimuli.

I m so sorry, Kathryn. You have to believe that. She barely registered his words, she could not really comprehend what he was saying.  
Kathryn couldn t talk, couldn t find the words needed to express her grief to those around her. Only the onslaught of tears conveyed her state of mind and she didn t care who saw it. Pride was gone, vanity as well. Pain was all she knew which meant she couldn t be the captain now or ever. She couldn t be the Kathryn Janeway her ship needed with her anguish and now she didn t want to live anymore. Suicide was the only option she could have without her boy.

No, no, no, no her mind looped over and over, gone, gone, gone

Kathryn wasn t sure if she was speaking or thinking, but all she knew was that she was retreating further into herself in an unsuccessful attempt to keep herself from feeling. She really wanted to be numb so she wouldn t hurt so bad.

She was being hugged, but her mind couldn t register the touch let alone the embrace. Normally a touchy feely person, Kathryn didn t want this physical interaction. It felt foreign and unnatural given her all-encompassing pain. Who she was before was gone. She was now a new Kathryn Janeway of whom could not process emotion because her heart was shattered and numb.

Kathryn owed it to her crew to get them and Voyager home and that was all the strength she had left. Once she fulfilled her promise, then she would end it all. Without the will to live, she wanted to die. Only then she would find peace.

Kathryn? Kathryn!

TO BE CONTINUED 


End file.
